Who I'm Looking For

Not a checklist so much as a vibe

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A quick disclaimer: I want to note that the things I am looking for are qualities that I myself hold (other than those that are gender specific). This list reflects genuine preferences, not a judgment of anyone who doesn't fit it. People are more than a checklist, and I'm open to being pleasantly surprised.

Requirements

Must-Haves vs. Nice-to-Haves

💗 Must-Haves

  • I am not looking for a casual relationship. In fact, I'm saving myself for marriage so if you are expecting or looking for something before that, I am not it.

  • Ideally, I would like to have at least 2 children someday.

  • Personal preference, but ideally anyone younger than 25, more specifically born after May 4th, 2001.

  • Saw a great post recently. "I would never go 50/50 but I wouldn't want someone who wouldn't go 50/50." Not so much about the numbers, but more about the underlying values and approach to relationships.

✨ Nice-to-Haves

  • Not so much about any particular field of study, but I do value education and ability to think critically.

  • I personally like to be obsessive about things I enjoy, and I would like to be with someone who is the same way. It would be kind of annoying to be thinking about your partner all day and find out they don't feel anywhere close to the same way.

  • While there is no specific physical ideal for me, I do value someone who takes care of their health and fitness.

  • While I am not against long distance relationships, I would like to be with someone who is somewhat local to me least initially (max around 3-4 hours away).

Compatibility

What I Think Makes Us Work

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Communication

I want to start by saying that I'm generally an introvert. However, over text specifically I can talk nonstop, and that also applies to the real world once I get to know someone. Thus, it is a really big deal for me to be able to communicate effectively with my partner, and that my partner would be seeking this as well.

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How We Spend Time

The typical male love language is "physical touch" and while I am not denying that it is probably mine as well, I personally value just spending time together a lot more. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, but just being around each other is what I cherish most.

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Life Stage

If it is not obvious yet, I am looking for a serious partner, and ideally I would plan to get married within 2 years.

Being Honest

A Few Things That Won't Work

🚫 No-Gos

  • Frankly, I don't believe in platonic relationships with the opposite gender. As mentioned above, I hold myself to the same standard so you can and should expect me to never have a female friend.

  • Personal preference

  • Personal preference though earings are fine

  • I understand the value of independence, but if your whole identity is built around being independent, it just indicates to me that you don't need a partner to me. I am really looking for someone who is willing to sacrifice their independence for me, just as I will for them.

  • I don't want to be fighting an uphill battle from day 0. Yes, there are terrible people out there, but I don't want to be with someone who has a negative view of men as a whole because of them.